Tamara Jane Goldman
January 30, 2004 - March 24, 2004

Tammy just before her death
Tamara an hour before she died.
"One could almost imagine
she was waving goodbye." -Manny

Naomi's favorite
Naomi's favorite,
at about 4 weeks.

Passionate little one
The nurse said she was passionate - this photo taken on the occasion of TJ's first bath.


• February 5: Grand entrance: Tamara Jane Goldman born January 30, 2004
• March 7: Two photographs of Tamara Jane: at birth and at 3 weeks
• March 25: We had a tragedy
• March 27: Shiva and funeral information
• March 31: Manny's thoughts about the funeral
• April 29: The autopsy report
• December 2005: Headstone placed

CLICK HERE to e-mail Manny

Grand entrance

February 5, 2004 (e-mail date)

TJ at 40 hours old

Tamara Jane Goldman made her debut on Friday January 30, 2004 at 12:25 AM. Tammy weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and was 19 inches at birth. She did well on her first exam, scoring 8 and 9 (out of 10) on the Apgar scale (the pediatrician was very pleased).

We hope you will have an opportunity to meet her in person in the not-too-distant future.

Sleepless in New Jersey,
- Manny [Goldman] and Naomi [Weinshenker]

Two photographs of Tamara Jane

March 7, 2004 (e-mail date)

We've received a lot of requests for photographs, so here goes.

- Manny and Naomi

Tammy at birth
TJ at birth

Tammy at 3 weeks
TJ at three weeks

We had a tragedy

March 25, 2004 (e-mail date)

The baby died last night. It's inexplicable, and we're waiting for an autopsy report. She was nursing while Naomi [Weinshenker] and I were watching TV around 9:30 PM. She became very still and we thought she'd gone to sleep, which she usually does when she nurses. I tickled her ribs, which usually starts her sucking again, but not this time. We took her off the breast and she was comatose, with a little blood coming out of her nose.

Naomi called 911 while I did CPR, which I continued till help arrived. They took her to the emergency room and worked on her for an hour, but she was gone.

Needless to say, we're devastated. I will be home with Naomi for the next several days, probably a week or maybe more.

Don't feel obligated to reach out to us just now. I know this news is shocking to you too. You are welcome to stop by our house if you wish and are local to the area. We'll be "sitting shiva" through friday afternoon, April 2, though people are welcome to visit through Sunday, April 4. Although arrangements have not yet been finalized [as of this e-mail, Mar. 25] (the baby has to first be released from the medical examiner), we expect to have a modest graveside funeral on Sunday (March 28, 2004).

- Manny

Manny's thoughts about the funeral

March 31, 2004 (e-mail date)

small image of headstone
A headstone was placed in December 2005. CLICK FOR LARGER IMAGE.

Noach Valley conducted a beautiful service. It was enhanced by his status as a long-time personal friend of Naomi and me, and he brought that personal knowledge to his comments. He had talked with me at length beforehand about TJ so that he could get a sense of who she was, and he conveyed that in his remarks.

As many people know, I had emailed local friends, family, and colleagues that the funeral was to be a simple, modest graveside service, that formal dress was not expected, and that there was no obligation to attend - and Naomi and I both were astonished at the large turnout: by our recollection of who was there, over 70 people. Many other people have told us that they would have come, but the notice about the funeral was in a weekend email and they did not open the message until too late, on Monday.

It was a crisp, clear day, with the sun streaming and a stiff breeze accentuating the chill in the air. TJ was buried in a section of the cemetery reserved for babies. I carried the tiny pine coffin from the hearse to the grave. All cemeteries are sad, but this section may be the saddest of the sad, the place of the innocents, those whose lives were unlived.

We were touched by the generosity of all concerned The funeral home did not charge us a penny, the cemetery donated the plot, Noach of course did not charge us either, and our only expense was the opening of the grave, to pay the workers for working on Sunday. And if the timing had permitted a weekday burial, the cemetery wouldn't have even charged us for the grave opening, either.

It seems the magnitude of this tragedy touches all who hear of it. We have had shiva visitors we hardly know, and email and telephone condolences from people we don't know at all!

- Manny